No comments on my last entry. Not that I'm complaining, because I don't read and/or comment on other peoples but, just stating. And I understand, because it was incredibly long. I just blame it on myspace. Right now, you could blame everything on myspace. It's honest to god taking over the world one person at a time.

So, you know what funny?

Boys.

They make me laugh. Point and laugh because, they're funny. I miss elementary school where all the boys thought girls had cooties, except for me because for all they knew, I was a boy minus the dick. And, how you had to hide the fact that you liked someone by making fun of them and picking on them more then everyone else. I think that's cute.

Cause, you grow boobies and then all of a sudden they turn into a puddle. Agree to everything you say. Holycrap, man... where'd your balls go?

So, yeah. I'm kinda odd.

Peace out.

[[ Long, long... pointless entry ahead. Don't like, don't read. ]]

So, there's been a lot of non-important things that have happened since I last updated. I'm not really sure why I'm telling you, but I am because this is where I vent my emotions, mostly. 

1. I have idea how long this list is going to be so just... don't read it if you don't want to, but leave me comments anyway. It's nice to know people love me. :)

2. So, I met my new therapist. She's cool. I like her more than me old one. She's neither old or smelly. It's quite pleasant. 

3. Capri Lights are not cool. They are pussy cigarettes and they suppress your appetite like no one knows. 

4. So, last Sunday I was hanging out with the best friend at Fashion Valley and we took some dope pictures. We went into the department stores and put on boys clothes to imitate my punk. They were quite sexy if I do say so myself. I also bought a pair of sunglasses (which Kyle still have) and some slushies. We were going to eat at CPK but I wasn't hungry by the time we ran out of things to do. I wish we could've spent more time together, it sucks. This year we only have one class together every other day. 

5. That brings to my second thing. I never see my best friend... or any of my other friends. Because, I gave up or something like that. The tree's so retarded and everyone's starting stupid drama that I could really do without in the third week of school. Lynda's not eating at the tree, usually and I completely understand because I don't want to eat their either. People are talking crap and to my utter surprise we're so important that there are RUMORS that somebody hates somebody else because that hoe's cousin's mother's neighbor's nephew's aunt is all up on so-and-so's case. Alright, look. Chill the fuck out.

6. I miss my punk. Alot. I miss beating him up for skittles and making him lend me money to buy food when I'm poor. I haven't even talked to him on the phone lately, last time was when I was at IKEA. He's so completely awesome. I think we're gonna go watch a movie or something. Apparently, when he turns 21.. I'm going to Cancun with him. Spiffy.

7. Filipino parents are so embarrassing. My mother was talking to be how her co-worker's son, Evan goes to a physcotherapist, too. ALSO, that when we were like... four and six we would hold hands. I haven't seen the guy in ten years, so... if you don't mind me being superficial-- he could be hideous. But, the boy owns my dream car. A powder blue 1956 Mustang, so... I kinda wanna meet the kid.

7 & half. I call people kid alot. Even when they're older than me. I also find myself calling people darling. Weird. 

8. I don't like being lonely. I want to watch movies. B-Horror movies where the monsters are people in suits and the girls scream like they just saw a rat. While they take a shower... while they're five ghosts chasing them. Those are the best. Random but I'm think I'm failing Physics. Katie is my science buddy, though.

9. I cut my hair, if you didn't know that. It's not that great. It kinda sucks. Whatever. 

10. I wish I could've gone to the MCR concert Thursday at SOMA but, I couldn't. It was sold out, months and months in advance. What the hell? I checked once, the tickets weren't on sale, yet. The next time I check they're sold out. Therefore the only people who actually got tickets were people who checked ticket master everyday, or... were just extremely lucky to happen to check it on the day they starting selling. Physco girls. 

11. I painted my room, it's MAUVE. It's pretty and I love it because purple is my favorite color. I got a new dresser and it's not all whack and Filipino looking. I'm not anti-Asian... I just don't like being typical. 

12. I was watching My Super Sweet Sixteen and there was this girl from New York and her mother was Filipino and her father was Italian. Her mother was a slut, though. A huge, huge slut. With boobies the size of watermelons and a face that looked kinda smashed in. She would've been prettier if she wasn't such a slut. But, there's a part where the daughter, Cindy, was telling her mother that she is not to embarrass her or dance with her guy friends. And they're sitting on a couch. Italian couch, wood engraving. "DUDE, my mother has that exact SAME couch."

13. I find I like drawing cartoons.

see, ashley? i'm updating.

school started. it sucks. i hate it. new people at the tree. sistur's in san diego for a while.

sorry guys, no soul searching entry this time.

xoxoxox,
mae

i love this picture for four reasons:

1. lynda's got a piece of poptart on her cheek.
2. i look like the asian tourist.
3. hanna looks like she's a creepy ghost-like figure who was photoshopped in.
4. whoever's (i think amy's) bunny ears on me and lynda

monica's not getting back her "monocock" bracelet. it's cool and pretty and glows in the dark and it's MINE.

school in a week, i think. it sucks. i hate school, but i do wanna see mi amigos. there was an article about my chemical romance in spin magazine, when me and my sister went to go get an oil change today. it showed me two things: 1. being a rockstar and touring the world is no fun when you've got no time to spend with your girlfriend painting the walls in your queens apartment cadaverous green together and 2. people in california (especially san diego) people are fucking bitches. and i say that because i, myself am from san diego. not that i didn't notice that before, but hearing it from somone who's experienced this first hand, it helps me understand what it's like for rockstars, or even anyone that's different from the average california surfer with gorgeous hair riding his or her bike to PB from their house two blocks away. no matter what you call the norm now a days, if you look anything remotely different from the average person you get shit on verbally by your so-called peers. which i think is fucked, because we aren't going to go around and be all.. "ew, that person's normal. gross."

that also reminds me, my chemical romance won none of their five nominations at the vma's. they came in second for viewer's choice, though.

xoxoxoxoxo,
mae

*note: i was feeling rant worthy. read it if you want a look into my brain... which is confusing, most of the time.

seems like these days everyone's broken. everyone's seems to be used and thrown away like old rag dolls. the world will just keeping and people will keep breaking. i know, it sounds like i'm trying to be one of those emo fucks but i'm serious. when your sister tells you about the vicous cycle of heart break as sucked up just about everyone one around her, you come to realize shit happens.

everyone starts pure but someone breaks them and that person is left to go break someone else. it's a cycle and everyone gets sucked in. people always think it's all about love and love is the most wonderful thing in the world, it's not. loving someone-- truly loveing someone with all your heart --is like opening a door to them. and they can come in and care for everything like it were they own or they can destroy it.

and people keep doing it, y'know. they fall in love, get hurt and try to find solace in someone else.. and they get hurt again. people are always telling me, "but it was better than the last one". okay, yeah.. but, that's like saying.. getting hit in the head with a bat 20 times is better than getting hit in the head with a bat 100 times. you're still getting in the head with a bat.

i could look outside and see the world is ending and be okay with that. because, my life is my own. if i love you, you should already know. if i care, if i hate you... you know already. i don't need to run around tell everyone.

i can love but i don't fall in love, because... who knows what that is anymore? certainly not someone my age. certainly not someone who hasn't fulfilled their life. because, how does one know that you won't love the next person more than the one before them?

and why do people worry about love so much? why rush into it? i enjoy being immature and putting off love, because it leaves out complications. i love being able to not be tied to someone by saying i love them. because, i'm a happy person. am i seriously going to purposfully make myself sad?

fuck no.

xoxo,
mae